this… this is the worst thing i have ever fucking seen. why is the kool-aid man dressed like a cross between cyclops and flash fucking gordon, and what the hell is that thing, it looks like an extra fired from the set of Osmosis Jones
right after i post this, i’m going to go climb onto a rooftop then spend six or seven minutes screaming at nothing in particular
picture credit goes to x-entertainment. thanks for ruining my fucking day
where is your god now
…wait, how can you even tell the difference between a wild bubbleberry and a domestic bubbleberry
…alienberry?
i hope that thing eats your fucking face off, toucan sam.
i can’t even go to a fucking ihop without this shit creeping up on me
another fucking yumberry
fucking shoot me
i had someone try to tell me a dragonberry’s an actual thing
fuck no. the thing they’re talking about is called a lychee. and some random company decided to call their lychee-flavored thing “dragonberry”. it’s like if you arbitrarily decided to call apples “iFruit”.
besides this stuff doesn’t contain lychee. it’s strawberry and dragonfruit. so nyeh.
hello, wildberry, my old friend
that sounds like some kind of fucking pirate innuendo
“yarr, baby, why don’t ye come here and pucker me berry?”
i find this stuff unsettling on all sorts of levels, but the most wonderful part to me is that its big marketing point is “It’s Pink!”
it’s not limited to edibles, either.
and of course we can’t forget booberry.
wow, i never really noticed this before. i can’t really tell if Boo is stoned or just completely miserable about this mascot gig. c’mon, little dude, you’re on camera. at least try to pretend you don’t hate your life.
err, afterlife.
like all good social rejects, i was absolutely in love with the monster cereals. of course, my parents never got it for me. partially because we were poor, partially because the fundamentalist household shunned even cartoony “horror”, but mostly i suspect they were sick of bad romanian stereotypes in the form of chocolate vampires
i… they… wut
i don’t care, your nostalgia about the smurfs does not somehow exempt them from sucking
…fuck you, papa smurf, don’t you give me that look
“If I were a berry farmer, I would be trying to do something about the co-opting of “berry” to mean “undefinably artificial.” — Lore Christian Fitzgerald Sjöberg